I am not saying I have it rough by any means but I have noticed that there is a long list of sacrifices that are made with the arrival of a "wee" one. Some are far more noticeable then others but there are many. Here is a quick run down of what I have noticed along the way
* Sleep - whether your baby is great or not, sleep is at a premium!!
* Money - duh, they cost money even when they are that small. New clothes, diapers, formula, the list is as long as they are. Not to mention you may be working with one less income too FYI.
* Free time - remember when you could just sit and chill, read a book, stare aimlessly into space... Say bye bye to those days, they are dead and gone until they leave for college...
* Social life - now to be fair this isn't always your fault. It seems that babies breed exclusion. Friends will often not want to "bother" you and yours so that the baby doesn't get disturbed. It can also work in your favour as it is a great out for events you aren't that interested in. Don't over use it though... "We have to get home to the baby" doesn't fly when they are two either!!
* Patience - find a way to keep it or you are done...
* Hobbies/Frivolous purchases (see: No Money) - see you later "new shoes", catch you later "blu-ray's", it has been real "ipod". These are realities that you'll have to come to on your own. I struggled, and still do, but when you put it into perspective... I'd rather my daughter have food and clothes over the newest Jay-Z album (or whomever)
* Sex-life - not applicable to all and depends entirely the delivery and how "fat" or "un-sexy" your significant other feels.. Best of luck... Oh and it may be that extra 10 to 20 lbs you put on with her - aka, sympathy weight... in case you were wondering. Don't worry she'll tell you!!
That is a quick rundown for the yet to be dads... Hope it helps.
Cheers
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My little girl
Well, a few months into this whole dad thing and I think I've got a pretty good handle on how this goes. That is until the little one decides that she wants something different. Watching your child grow and figure things out might be one of the most incredible things you'll ever witness. The discovery of hands and feet and how easily they can be jammed into ones mouth. The recognition of mom and dad's voices and smells. The knowledge of - if I cry they come and check on me - which she figured out early and now uses to her advantage. Rolling over from back to front or vice versa. It is pretty special to see that look in their eyes when the "light bulb" goes off.
I have noticed a few new things about myself too. Now, if you'd have asked me at the beginning of my wife's pregnancy if I wanted a boy or a girl I would have said " I don't care as long as they are happy and healthy" and "as long as mom is okay and baby is okay everything else is details".
I LIED...
As a man, silly as it may be, I wanted a boy. Whether it is the whole "carry on the family name" thing or just having a little version of me around - I don't know, it is dumb regardless. I couldn't be any happier to have had a little baby girl and wouldn't change it for the world. Having said that, the prospect of having a girl is the single most terrifying thing in the world for me. And here is why....
I was at the drive-in with "Ky" and Brooklyn not that long after she was born - we needed a night out!!! I couldn't help but notice that there was a LOT of pre-teen/teenage boys and girls running around. Upon closer inspection of the situation, I noticed that, as boys and girls do, there was a lot of flirting and playful touching to just blatant make out sessions.
**I SHUDDER AS I WRITE THIS**
I can't handle the thought of that stage in my little girls life. The boys, the heartbreak, the ...uh.. sex. I just want to lock her up until she's 25... If she gets my wife's body and looks with my height I might just end it all... Picture a 6 foot tall Reece Witherspoon with bigger boobs... No dad should have to handle that. The other thing is if she brings home one of these disrespectful punk kids, and you know who you are, it is over. I hope that by the time she is that age that this whole "emo" look and the "popped collar" crap is long gone. Look, I get the whole trying to be yourself and express who you are by being original and what not, but here is a news flash kids...
"YOU ALL LOOK THE F**KING SAME!!!!"
Does everyone shop at stores with birds as their logo. Try and get a job with your ear lobes all stretched to hell, or has anyone seen a CEO wearing "guy-liner" - don't think so...
I can handle the bras and the periods and all of that stuff that comes with being a girl. The physiology of it is not something that scares me. But the first boy that she brings home... I feel sorry for that poor bastard - whether he's nice or not - he will feel the wrath of DAD.. I apologize to both Brooklyn and "Ky" because I just don't know if I'll deal very well at all.
I know I have a while to go before she's at that stage so I might just have enough time to wrap my head around it...
In the words of the wise "Larry the Cable Guy" - Lord, I apologize....
I have noticed a few new things about myself too. Now, if you'd have asked me at the beginning of my wife's pregnancy if I wanted a boy or a girl I would have said " I don't care as long as they are happy and healthy" and "as long as mom is okay and baby is okay everything else is details".
I LIED...
As a man, silly as it may be, I wanted a boy. Whether it is the whole "carry on the family name" thing or just having a little version of me around - I don't know, it is dumb regardless. I couldn't be any happier to have had a little baby girl and wouldn't change it for the world. Having said that, the prospect of having a girl is the single most terrifying thing in the world for me. And here is why....
I was at the drive-in with "Ky" and Brooklyn not that long after she was born - we needed a night out!!! I couldn't help but notice that there was a LOT of pre-teen/teenage boys and girls running around. Upon closer inspection of the situation, I noticed that, as boys and girls do, there was a lot of flirting and playful touching to just blatant make out sessions.
**I SHUDDER AS I WRITE THIS**
I can't handle the thought of that stage in my little girls life. The boys, the heartbreak, the ...uh.. sex. I just want to lock her up until she's 25... If she gets my wife's body and looks with my height I might just end it all... Picture a 6 foot tall Reece Witherspoon with bigger boobs... No dad should have to handle that. The other thing is if she brings home one of these disrespectful punk kids, and you know who you are, it is over. I hope that by the time she is that age that this whole "emo" look and the "popped collar" crap is long gone. Look, I get the whole trying to be yourself and express who you are by being original and what not, but here is a news flash kids...
"YOU ALL LOOK THE F**KING SAME!!!!"
Does everyone shop at stores with birds as their logo. Try and get a job with your ear lobes all stretched to hell, or has anyone seen a CEO wearing "guy-liner" - don't think so...
I can handle the bras and the periods and all of that stuff that comes with being a girl. The physiology of it is not something that scares me. But the first boy that she brings home... I feel sorry for that poor bastard - whether he's nice or not - he will feel the wrath of DAD.. I apologize to both Brooklyn and "Ky" because I just don't know if I'll deal very well at all.
I know I have a while to go before she's at that stage so I might just have enough time to wrap my head around it...
In the words of the wise "Larry the Cable Guy" - Lord, I apologize....
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
March 25th, 09
March 25th of this year marked a new moment in my life. One that forever changed me and my outlook on me as a person. March 25th marked the birth of my first child, a beautiful baby girl - Brooklyn Rose. What a gloriously scary and incredibly magical moment.
The magical part should be obvious. Watching my wife "Ky" bring new life into this world was enough to make the most callous and robotic person weep like a baby. Now that's not to imply that I am that person (I'd like to think I am not), but I certainly did shed a tear or two - okay, I fell apart. It is probably the most indescribable thing I have ever witnessed, but if you are a "dad to be" don't miss it, you'll regret it forever. We will come back to that.
The scary part is less obvious and completely different for every new dad, or at least that is my suspicion. For me it was many things wrapped up into this little 7lbs pink package. Gone are the days of being irresponsible (or less responsible), welcome to the days of having someone completely dependant on you for everything and anything. I'd like to think I was prepared for that but it is really something more organic then that - something you evolve to (or through). Now lets be clear, my wife does the majority of the work, but I have been - in my opinion - a very hands on dad. I didn't want to be seen as or feel like an absentee father, I decided very early on that I wanted to have a very hands on approach to the raising of my daughter (and children if we have more). That was my decision and not every guy out there has the capacity for it or the interest, which is a shame. I heard a saying a long time ago that really stuck and I am surely paraphrasing but the point still stands....
"Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man to raise a child"
Now I don't claim to have any or all of the answers because I am not that naive but I have figured a few things out in the last few months. And I will do my best to illustrate them in some detail and chronological order over the next few posts since I now have 5 months to recap.
I guess the best place to start is from the beginning...
March 24th around 11:00 pm: "Ky" wakes me up to tell me it is go time... It wasn't that nicely put but to be expected as I am sure she is in pain and scared too. Off we go to the hospital.
Now gentlemen, lets be clear... Fatigue and what I can only assume is terrible pain doesn't breed warm and fuzzy love from your wife/girlfriend. She's going to be vocal with her general displeasure with you and pretty much everything stupid you've done thus far in life. Try not to take it personal - I say try because it sure isn't easy. Just realize there is no earthly way you'd handle that pain so let keep it in perspective - take a few shots to the old pride or squeeze a soft ball through your manhood, take your pick. I'll choose the shots, every time...
**I know you think you can take the pain but we get incapacitated by a kick to the jewels. Now imagine that feeling for several hours. Personally, I want to barf just thinking about it. **
Second thing a new dad's should know. EPIDURALS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Great for mom and conversely great for you... Let me tell you, once "K" got that bad boy she was as calm as Hindu cattle. God love modern medicine. Now I will side step some of the details here to spare my wife but there really is no way to sugar coat 12 hours of pushing...
"Ky" was an absolute champ and after all her hard work she gave me the best gift a man could ask for..
Brooklyn Rose - 5 minutes old
7lbs 0 oz, 19 inches
10 fingers 10 toes... All awesome
*Rose is after my Omi - who was a dynamic, beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. Not unlike my wife. Brooklyn has some incredible roll models*
Okay big guy... the 9 months of preparation are out the door because the slap of reality is here.
Sleepless nights are real and start right away for a whole bunch or reasons... Crying - check, feed me - check, too hot/too cold - check, is she breathing - check, the list of worries goes on and on. With any luck your wife/girlfriend and you are still talking and can now enjoy this little amazing creature you've brought into this world.
The first night is torture for sure but you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish on zero sleep.
The reality of being outnumbered and outgunned as the only male in the household has set in.... Can't wait to see what day two brings... I will elaborate another time.
Before I close off however, be sure to check in with Mom too... If you are anything like me you'll be totally captivated and in love with your new bundle of joy. A love you can't explain. But lets not forget the person that just did the 9 month tour of duty. She still needs to know she is your queen and that all her hard work didn't go unnoticed.
It is go time "dad's", let's show em' what we're made off...
The magical part should be obvious. Watching my wife "Ky" bring new life into this world was enough to make the most callous and robotic person weep like a baby. Now that's not to imply that I am that person (I'd like to think I am not), but I certainly did shed a tear or two - okay, I fell apart. It is probably the most indescribable thing I have ever witnessed, but if you are a "dad to be" don't miss it, you'll regret it forever. We will come back to that.
The scary part is less obvious and completely different for every new dad, or at least that is my suspicion. For me it was many things wrapped up into this little 7lbs pink package. Gone are the days of being irresponsible (or less responsible), welcome to the days of having someone completely dependant on you for everything and anything. I'd like to think I was prepared for that but it is really something more organic then that - something you evolve to (or through). Now lets be clear, my wife does the majority of the work, but I have been - in my opinion - a very hands on dad. I didn't want to be seen as or feel like an absentee father, I decided very early on that I wanted to have a very hands on approach to the raising of my daughter (and children if we have more). That was my decision and not every guy out there has the capacity for it or the interest, which is a shame. I heard a saying a long time ago that really stuck and I am surely paraphrasing but the point still stands....
"Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man to raise a child"
Now I don't claim to have any or all of the answers because I am not that naive but I have figured a few things out in the last few months. And I will do my best to illustrate them in some detail and chronological order over the next few posts since I now have 5 months to recap.
I guess the best place to start is from the beginning...
March 24th around 11:00 pm: "Ky" wakes me up to tell me it is go time... It wasn't that nicely put but to be expected as I am sure she is in pain and scared too. Off we go to the hospital.
Now gentlemen, lets be clear... Fatigue and what I can only assume is terrible pain doesn't breed warm and fuzzy love from your wife/girlfriend. She's going to be vocal with her general displeasure with you and pretty much everything stupid you've done thus far in life. Try not to take it personal - I say try because it sure isn't easy. Just realize there is no earthly way you'd handle that pain so let keep it in perspective - take a few shots to the old pride or squeeze a soft ball through your manhood, take your pick. I'll choose the shots, every time...
**I know you think you can take the pain but we get incapacitated by a kick to the jewels. Now imagine that feeling for several hours. Personally, I want to barf just thinking about it. **
Second thing a new dad's should know. EPIDURALS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Great for mom and conversely great for you... Let me tell you, once "K" got that bad boy she was as calm as Hindu cattle. God love modern medicine. Now I will side step some of the details here to spare my wife but there really is no way to sugar coat 12 hours of pushing...
"Ky" was an absolute champ and after all her hard work she gave me the best gift a man could ask for..
Brooklyn Rose - 5 minutes old7lbs 0 oz, 19 inches
10 fingers 10 toes... All awesome
*Rose is after my Omi - who was a dynamic, beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. Not unlike my wife. Brooklyn has some incredible roll models*
Okay big guy... the 9 months of preparation are out the door because the slap of reality is here.
Sleepless nights are real and start right away for a whole bunch or reasons... Crying - check, feed me - check, too hot/too cold - check, is she breathing - check, the list of worries goes on and on. With any luck your wife/girlfriend and you are still talking and can now enjoy this little amazing creature you've brought into this world.
The first night is torture for sure but you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish on zero sleep.
The reality of being outnumbered and outgunned as the only male in the household has set in.... Can't wait to see what day two brings... I will elaborate another time.
Before I close off however, be sure to check in with Mom too... If you are anything like me you'll be totally captivated and in love with your new bundle of joy. A love you can't explain. But lets not forget the person that just did the 9 month tour of duty. She still needs to know she is your queen and that all her hard work didn't go unnoticed.
It is go time "dad's", let's show em' what we're made off...
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