The magical part should be obvious. Watching my wife "Ky" bring new life into this world was enough to make the most callous and robotic person weep like a baby. Now that's not to imply that I am that person (I'd like to think I am not), but I certainly did shed a tear or two - okay, I fell apart. It is probably the most indescribable thing I have ever witnessed, but if you are a "dad to be" don't miss it, you'll regret it forever. We will come back to that.
The scary part is less obvious and completely different for every new dad, or at least that is my suspicion. For me it was many things wrapped up into this little 7lbs pink package. Gone are the days of being irresponsible (or less responsible), welcome to the days of having someone completely dependant on you for everything and anything. I'd like to think I was prepared for that but it is really something more organic then that - something you evolve to (or through). Now lets be clear, my wife does the majority of the work, but I have been - in my opinion - a very hands on dad. I didn't want to be seen as or feel like an absentee father, I decided very early on that I wanted to have a very hands on approach to the raising of my daughter (and children if we have more). That was my decision and not every guy out there has the capacity for it or the interest, which is a shame. I heard a saying a long time ago that really stuck and I am surely paraphrasing but the point still stands....
"Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man to raise a child"
Now I don't claim to have any or all of the answers because I am not that naive but I have figured a few things out in the last few months. And I will do my best to illustrate them in some detail and chronological order over the next few posts since I now have 5 months to recap.
I guess the best place to start is from the beginning...
March 24th around 11:00 pm: "Ky" wakes me up to tell me it is go time... It wasn't that nicely put but to be expected as I am sure she is in pain and scared too. Off we go to the hospital.
Now gentlemen, lets be clear... Fatigue and what I can only assume is terrible pain doesn't breed warm and fuzzy love from your wife/girlfriend. She's going to be vocal with her general displeasure with you and pretty much everything stupid you've done thus far in life. Try not to take it personal - I say try because it sure isn't easy. Just realize there is no earthly way you'd handle that pain so let keep it in perspective - take a few shots to the old pride or squeeze a soft ball through your manhood, take your pick. I'll choose the shots, every time...
**I know you think you can take the pain but we get incapacitated by a kick to the jewels. Now imagine that feeling for several hours. Personally, I want to barf just thinking about it. **
Second thing a new dad's should know. EPIDURALS ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND. Great for mom and conversely great for you... Let me tell you, once "K" got that bad boy she was as calm as Hindu cattle. God love modern medicine. Now I will side step some of the details here to spare my wife but there really is no way to sugar coat 12 hours of pushing...
"Ky" was an absolute champ and after all her hard work she gave me the best gift a man could ask for..
Brooklyn Rose - 5 minutes old7lbs 0 oz, 19 inches
10 fingers 10 toes... All awesome
*Rose is after my Omi - who was a dynamic, beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. Not unlike my wife. Brooklyn has some incredible roll models*
Okay big guy... the 9 months of preparation are out the door because the slap of reality is here.
Sleepless nights are real and start right away for a whole bunch or reasons... Crying - check, feed me - check, too hot/too cold - check, is she breathing - check, the list of worries goes on and on. With any luck your wife/girlfriend and you are still talking and can now enjoy this little amazing creature you've brought into this world.
The first night is torture for sure but you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish on zero sleep.
The reality of being outnumbered and outgunned as the only male in the household has set in.... Can't wait to see what day two brings... I will elaborate another time.
Before I close off however, be sure to check in with Mom too... If you are anything like me you'll be totally captivated and in love with your new bundle of joy. A love you can't explain. But lets not forget the person that just did the 9 month tour of duty. She still needs to know she is your queen and that all her hard work didn't go unnoticed.
It is go time "dad's", let's show em' what we're made off...
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