Well now here is something I didn't expect or at least expect to see happen for quite sometime. Thanksgiving weekend 2009, six plus months into being "dada" the little one drops a bombshell on me by saying those very words. My little angel not once, not twice, but has uttered "hi dada" several times. It is now her phrase of choice. Now to be fair she also calls the dog "dada" and just about everything else she can get those chubby little hands on. So here is the rub....
I did nothing to solicit "dada", there was no shameless self promotion on my part. This in turn means my wife is now "second fiddle" to "dada" or maybe just feels that way. This of course has no validity at all. "Ky" did a fantastic job of being an equal opportunity name promoter but unfortunately "mama" wasn't in the cards just yet. Or so it would seem.
Now that doesn't mean that I didn't take a certain degree of pride in her saying that four letter word and I am certainly not saying that the voice inside my head wasn't saying "YEAH BABY". I do feel a certain degree of, not sure of the words but perhaps remorse, that Brooklyn didn't say "mama" first. "Ky" has done so much in her overall development that it would have been a really nice reward from the wee one for her to say "mama" first. I know and "Ky" knows that it will of course happen before either of us know it and before too long she will be telling all sorts of fun little anecdotes. "Hey Dad, did you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?" "Hey Mom, did you know that your foot is the same length as your forearm?" "Hey Mom... Mom.... MOM, MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!! You can almost hear the pulse of the vein bulging on our respective heads. Regardless of the pending onslaught of questions it is such a rush to see her attempt to formulate words. You can see in her eyes as she processes her surroundings that "I am trying to say this guys, so listen up goddamn it!! I don't want to have to repeat myself."
So with Phase 1: learning to talk (and talk back), well under way it shouldn't be too long before Phase 2: I am now mobile bitches (so move the low stuff off the shelves) to rear it's ugly head. She is already doing the shuffle, roll and spin so the crawling and walking ain't too far behind.
That's only terrifying!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
8 Lessons all dads should teach
First off I want to say that I didn't create this list but found it informative so I thought I'd pass it on. I will however paraphrase (see: dumb it down) for all dads, myself included.
Words are valuable
Be sure to speak up - your kids are listening. Use big words, even if they are unfamiliar to your child. Evidently they learn a lot purely based on the context in which it's used.
**Personal addition: I also firmly believe that you should talk to your baby as a person. Ease up on the goo goo gaa gaa talk.
Tantrums earn you nothing
This also applies to 30 year old men too (taking a look in the mirror Adam). Sound advice. Evidently when your anxiety visibly rises you add fuel to the fire. And giving in to the tantrum is positive reinforcement and will in fact encourage more bad behaviour. Don't ignore it, just don't get rattled but be calm and attentive (easier said then done of course).
Competition leads to confidence
Kids as young as 4 (I've got a long way to go before that) start to compete with their parents. "Race you to the car, dad"... Wrestling on the couch... The harmless stuff. Roll with it and let them win - a lot and then slowly over time ramp it up so the have to work harder for the "W". It helps build confidence and strength (muscles and all) which can help them avoid being bullied too.
Quitting is hard
Show your kids the pain of quitting and they won't make those kind of decisions lightly. If your child says a school project is too hard and that he/she wants to give up, that's okay. But make them tell the teacher they're quitting and take whatever grade is appropriate. They will likely stick it out... A lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.
Other people's feelings matter
Words are valuable
Be sure to speak up - your kids are listening. Use big words, even if they are unfamiliar to your child. Evidently they learn a lot purely based on the context in which it's used.
**Personal addition: I also firmly believe that you should talk to your baby as a person. Ease up on the goo goo gaa gaa talk.
Tantrums earn you nothing
This also applies to 30 year old men too (taking a look in the mirror Adam). Sound advice. Evidently when your anxiety visibly rises you add fuel to the fire. And giving in to the tantrum is positive reinforcement and will in fact encourage more bad behaviour. Don't ignore it, just don't get rattled but be calm and attentive (easier said then done of course).
Competition leads to confidence
Kids as young as 4 (I've got a long way to go before that) start to compete with their parents. "Race you to the car, dad"... Wrestling on the couch... The harmless stuff. Roll with it and let them win - a lot and then slowly over time ramp it up so the have to work harder for the "W". It helps build confidence and strength (muscles and all) which can help them avoid being bullied too.
Quitting is hard
Show your kids the pain of quitting and they won't make those kind of decisions lightly. If your child says a school project is too hard and that he/she wants to give up, that's okay. But make them tell the teacher they're quitting and take whatever grade is appropriate. They will likely stick it out... A lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.
Other people's feelings matter
It's easier to connect with other kids and others in general if you can learn to understand their perspective, so nurture that instinct in you child. A good starting point is your child's own feelings.
Fights can be resolved
Unless one kid is hanging another out of a window or giving them a "swirly", don't say a word. As soon as you get involved your child no longer cares about the solution. They only try persuading you to their side.
Independence is earned
When your kids ask to stay later at a friends house ask you child what time would work for them. Then ask them why. This still allows you the opportunity to say yes or no depending on the answer but still gives them the freedom and responsibility.
Success requires focus
Perhaps you don't wish for a prodigy but our competitive society would suggest otherwise. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Praise improvement first. Learn to go through one door first and many others will open for you. Try going through five at once and you'll go nowhere.
Again, I thought the article had some interesting points so I thought I'd share them. Undoubtedly raising a child is something far more organic and depends entirely on the child as well as you - the parent. Take the tips for what they are worth of course. Happy parenting
Cheers
Article provided by: Men's Health magazine Oct. 09
Cute/cute vs. Ugly/cute...
Perhaps starting with a little math refresher might help to illustrate my point. Back in the day you learned the following "math-ism"
1) positive x positive = positive
2) positive x negative = negative
3) negative x negative = positive
* made no sense but you go along with it because that's what your teacher told you*
So how this plays into what I am talking about is...... actually just hold on for a sec. Let me start by saying that no matter what, when all babies are born they ain't cute. There, I said it. Somebody had to. They are purple, covered in blood and vernix (a waxy or cheese like, yah that's right cheese like, coating covering your baby), their head is all misshaped, their eyes are all goopy and so on. After all you wouldn't look so hot if you were floating in water for 9 months either. So here is where the debate now begins....
All parents think that there baby is cute without fail and will proceed to take countless pictures and videos and show them off without hesitation or post them on facebook for the world to see. GUILTY. Now having said that, not all you parents are right. Some of you out there, and you may not know who you are, are looking through your own version of baby "beer goggles." It's true whether you like it or not. Here is where that math thing comes in.
Just because your partner is attractive and you are attractive and one drunken night things got a little out of hand and 9 months later you have a baby doesn't mean that your two "positives" equal a cute baby.... See, math isn't always right! The same theory can go the other way too. Always wondered how two "negative" parents equal a "positive" baby. I have seen it, witnessed first hand and still can't believe that it works. Sometimes the equation works, sometimes your genes forget to "carry the one".
Part two of this theory will help put the minds of some parents at ease. To be fair, there is in fact two kinds of cute. There is cute/cute, which means your baby is as close to Gerber cute as you can get and then there is ugly/cute which means you don't show a picture of your baby to anybody prior to their morning coffee but you do still get the mandatory "awwww, he/she is so cute."
FYI, my baby girl is cute/cute and I don't care what anyone says..
**Sidebar: at no point should you ever compare your baby to another baby in my opinion. First off - the aforementioned baby "beer goggles", you don't necessarily see what anyone else sees. You see cute - I may see Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Second - see the first. You just don't do it, I don't care what you say!!.**
Back to the lecture at hand. We've established that when babies are first born they're not cute, they look like aliens. We've established "baby algebra" and how regardless of what you think, it is still a crap shoot and math, once again, can be proven wrong. Hot x hot can in fact = not... We've also established that once your wee one has evolved past that alien looking stage, which is about a week or two in my opinion, that they fall into either cute/cute or ugly/cute. Now that is not to say they are a permanent fixture in either category so there is still a chance that Junior might "grow out" of that face, er, phase...
I think it boils down to this. Unless you are 100% sure that your little one is cute (and I am) then maybe just keep the picture show for later on in the day.
Cheers
1) positive x positive = positive
2) positive x negative = negative
3) negative x negative = positive
* made no sense but you go along with it because that's what your teacher told you*
So how this plays into what I am talking about is...... actually just hold on for a sec. Let me start by saying that no matter what, when all babies are born they ain't cute. There, I said it. Somebody had to. They are purple, covered in blood and vernix (a waxy or cheese like, yah that's right cheese like, coating covering your baby), their head is all misshaped, their eyes are all goopy and so on. After all you wouldn't look so hot if you were floating in water for 9 months either. So here is where the debate now begins....
All parents think that there baby is cute without fail and will proceed to take countless pictures and videos and show them off without hesitation or post them on facebook for the world to see. GUILTY. Now having said that, not all you parents are right. Some of you out there, and you may not know who you are, are looking through your own version of baby "beer goggles." It's true whether you like it or not. Here is where that math thing comes in.
Just because your partner is attractive and you are attractive and one drunken night things got a little out of hand and 9 months later you have a baby doesn't mean that your two "positives" equal a cute baby.... See, math isn't always right! The same theory can go the other way too. Always wondered how two "negative" parents equal a "positive" baby. I have seen it, witnessed first hand and still can't believe that it works. Sometimes the equation works, sometimes your genes forget to "carry the one".
Part two of this theory will help put the minds of some parents at ease. To be fair, there is in fact two kinds of cute. There is cute/cute, which means your baby is as close to Gerber cute as you can get and then there is ugly/cute which means you don't show a picture of your baby to anybody prior to their morning coffee but you do still get the mandatory "awwww, he/she is so cute."
FYI, my baby girl is cute/cute and I don't care what anyone says..
**Sidebar: at no point should you ever compare your baby to another baby in my opinion. First off - the aforementioned baby "beer goggles", you don't necessarily see what anyone else sees. You see cute - I may see Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Second - see the first. You just don't do it, I don't care what you say!!.**Back to the lecture at hand. We've established that when babies are first born they're not cute, they look like aliens. We've established "baby algebra" and how regardless of what you think, it is still a crap shoot and math, once again, can be proven wrong. Hot x hot can in fact = not... We've also established that once your wee one has evolved past that alien looking stage, which is about a week or two in my opinion, that they fall into either cute/cute or ugly/cute. Now that is not to say they are a permanent fixture in either category so there is still a chance that Junior might "grow out" of that face, er, phase...
I think it boils down to this. Unless you are 100% sure that your little one is cute (and I am) then maybe just keep the picture show for later on in the day.
Cheers
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