Words are valuable
Be sure to speak up - your kids are listening. Use big words, even if they are unfamiliar to your child. Evidently they learn a lot purely based on the context in which it's used.
**Personal addition: I also firmly believe that you should talk to your baby as a person. Ease up on the goo goo gaa gaa talk.
Tantrums earn you nothing
This also applies to 30 year old men too (taking a look in the mirror Adam). Sound advice. Evidently when your anxiety visibly rises you add fuel to the fire. And giving in to the tantrum is positive reinforcement and will in fact encourage more bad behaviour. Don't ignore it, just don't get rattled but be calm and attentive (easier said then done of course).
Competition leads to confidence
Kids as young as 4 (I've got a long way to go before that) start to compete with their parents. "Race you to the car, dad"... Wrestling on the couch... The harmless stuff. Roll with it and let them win - a lot and then slowly over time ramp it up so the have to work harder for the "W". It helps build confidence and strength (muscles and all) which can help them avoid being bullied too.
Quitting is hard
Show your kids the pain of quitting and they won't make those kind of decisions lightly. If your child says a school project is too hard and that he/she wants to give up, that's okay. But make them tell the teacher they're quitting and take whatever grade is appropriate. They will likely stick it out... A lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.
Other people's feelings matter
It's easier to connect with other kids and others in general if you can learn to understand their perspective, so nurture that instinct in you child. A good starting point is your child's own feelings.
Fights can be resolved
Unless one kid is hanging another out of a window or giving them a "swirly", don't say a word. As soon as you get involved your child no longer cares about the solution. They only try persuading you to their side.
Independence is earned
When your kids ask to stay later at a friends house ask you child what time would work for them. Then ask them why. This still allows you the opportunity to say yes or no depending on the answer but still gives them the freedom and responsibility.
Success requires focus
Perhaps you don't wish for a prodigy but our competitive society would suggest otherwise. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Praise improvement first. Learn to go through one door first and many others will open for you. Try going through five at once and you'll go nowhere.
Again, I thought the article had some interesting points so I thought I'd share them. Undoubtedly raising a child is something far more organic and depends entirely on the child as well as you - the parent. Take the tips for what they are worth of course. Happy parenting
Cheers
Article provided by: Men's Health magazine Oct. 09
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