Drool, poop and spit up - that's what baby girls are made of

At this point in my tenure as "da-da" there have been many an occasion in which upcoming dad's ask some very interesting but important questions... One of the most common is this:

"Dude, I don't know if I can handle changing diapers. I can't deal with the smell. Is it as nasty as I hear it is??"

And here is the answer - Yes

It smells wicked bad, it looks just as bad and you will undoubtedly wear some of it at some point. But guess what, you will survive. I personally don't know what "real" food does to the digestive system of a little one yet as we have yet to cross that bridge but "boob juice" (aka - breast milk) and a little formula equates into some of the most interesting "movements" you've seen or smelled. And I work near a bloody duck farm.

The truth is after the first couple, you get used to it. Now by no means am I implying that it becomes enjoyable at any point because that's just not the case. But you develop the necessary ability to hold back the old gag reflex. Poop is now a way of life. Wait until you have to empty the garbage/diaper genie - week old diapers are a punch to the senses like none other my friend. Some days you just have to sit back and applaud because there is no earthly way something that nasty should come out of something so amazingly cute.

*another good tip - don't cheap out on diapers... We tried to go more cost effective and ended up having more blowouts then a Jerry Springer show... And they never happen when you are prepared (IE. change of clothes). *

After poop is the much more palatable drool/spit up factor. At this point neither are really that gross but some ill timed spit up can cause some grief. Ready to go out for dinner - BLARGH - now you are changing your shirt (or entire outfit for the ladies - since something no longer matches the shoes/purse/earrings/whatever you were wearing). It is otherwise harmless. The drool, in my opinion, is quite funny. Nothing says "I love you dad" like a gigantic "wet willy" from your 5 month old daughter. Who knew they could get their whole damn fist in their mouth and then your ear!!! I swear Brooklyn must be dehydrated 24/7 because she is a never ending fountain of drool. Shirt - soaked, hands - ditto, feet - you betcha, and if she is really on fire her pants and probably what you're wearing too. It is a sight to behold. Love that teething...

I left out pee only because having a girl is nothing like the challenge of taming a baby boy and his - how shall I put this - you remember when you were a kid playing in the backyard in the summer, jumping through those sprinklers shaped like an octopus with arms flailing around.... picture that. But just as a heads up - you are getting peed on anyways. So enjoy, because it is part of the package.

Just remember that when your old and sporting diapers yourself you get to return the favour...