Crawling - The evolution of "the squigs"

Just to clear up the title as I suspect I have never refered to Brooklyn this way but here is a quick rundown on her various nicknames... handles, if you will

- Squiggle Bottoms
- The Squigs: purely a derivative of the aforementioned
- Bro-Ro: a clever take on Brooklyn Rose using the J.Lo template
- B-Rabbit: not too sure why I called her this.. May have just watched 8 Mile or something
- B (pretty self explanitory I hope)

there are undoubtedly more but there's the back story, I digress.....

The "wee" one has now evolved into a full fledged crawling ninja. Beyond that she has also figured out that she can pull herself up to standing using her walnut crushing pipes "o" death. Needless to say the bottom 1/3 (maybe even 1/2) of the Christmas tree will be "sans" decoration. Let the baby proofing begin! Baby gates and plug covers and drawer stops and god knows what else we'll need to do in order to keep the "squigs" at bay. Though it took her awhile to get the forward motion concept, now that she's got it down pat there is no stopping her. Which means "Ky" is on amber alert at all times now. She's no longer content sitting in the middle of the room playing with her toys. She is the Sherlock Holmes of the bottom 8 inches of every floor in our house! Pick it up, inspect it, jam it in my mouth, confirm or deny edibility, wait for reaction from mom, feed item to hairy four-legged thing, disregard item and move on to the next thing. Rinse and repeat....

The one thing that we've both noticed is that there is a definite need for someone to invent a swiffer sleeper/onesie. Let me spell this out for you a little. High shed dog vs crawling baby = hairy cookie cover little hands and a little girl who looks like she's wearing a sweater vest. NOT GOOD! So where is the Slap Chop guy or Ron Popeil to invent this when you need them... Too busy "setting it and forgetting it" I guess. Since the dog won't stop shedding and Brookyn won't stop crawling and nobody has created said "Swiffer Sleeper," for now "Ky" (and to a much lesser degree myself), we'll just have to get used to having a vacuum in or near our hands. That being said, therein lies another tiny issue. No longer is the dog free to roam the house unpestered, to lay in the middle of a rug and catch a few winks, to not have baby hands in my water and food dishes. No no. Brooklyn Holmes will see to none of that. Thank god his temperment is what it is, though with any luck Brooklyn learn to let sleeping dogs lie and not let sleeping dogs have clumps of hair ripped out on his back. At least she can wash her hands in the water dish.....

All the best to those who are embarking on this stage of parenting, it is exhausting and amazing all wrapped up in one.

Cheers.

1st tooth, 1st foods, and 1st Halloween

1ST TOOTH

It was a big week in the life of the wee one. Not only is she a week older but is now sporting her very own shiny white nub of a tooth. It broke through the other day and will undoubtedly spur on some dental companions soon enough, much to the chagrin of Brooklyn. Though she handled the whole teething process like a champ she was pretty unhappy for a couple of days. But to put it in perspective, as I've been told, if we had to deal with teething at any older age then newborn we would need some hardcore pain meds... So I guess be glad you can't remember. Having said that, if I thought the drool was bad months ago, this makes that look like a joke. Poor "Ky" does more laundry now then ever before, Brooklyn just soaks through shirt after shirt, sleeper after sleeper. I am surprised she hasn't dried up like a raisin, where does she store all that fluid???

1ST FOODS

Although she's been eating food, and I use the term loosely, for quite some time now (several weeks) this is the first I've mentioned it. It really is something to watch how much they change as they move from "boob juice" to pablum aka gruel to pureed fruits and veg. It certainly impacted her digestive system. If I thought the bouquet that Brooklyn was laying down early on in her life was bad... WOW! Not only has the aroma been amplified but she now has this amazing technicolour dreamcoat thing happening in her little "b.m.'s." She is more and more like a little person. I guess it should come as no surprise however that a change in food means an adjustment period for "B's" digestive system and given what this food looks like it is no wonder. The rice/oat/wheat pablum crud looks like gruel, smells like paper mache and after it has a few minutes to "set" could be used as an industrial strength adhesive. No wonder the little one struggles to let freedom reign every now and again. Much like everything else our little angel took to eating food like she'd been doing it for years. The occassional sweet potatoe mustache and green bean eye liner for "B" but otherwise the target is hit every time. What a blast to see their expressions the first time they eat something new - they lack the tact we have when trying something new. The squished up faces, the spitting it out, the smacking of lips - Hilarious!!

1ST HALLOWEEN

Now, not that I would consider this to be Brooklyn's first real Halloween because lets be honest Halloween without trick or treating and boat loads of teeth rotting candy is like a beer commercial without bad acting and scantily clad pornstars, er, models.. So this being her first prelude to Halloween the little one was dressed up as a bumblebee. If you are anything like me you are thinking Bumblebee, sweet!!! Transformers!! Not so. She was just a regular bumblebee but having said that, she was easily the cutest damn bumblebee you've ever seen. And I do mean cute:

* I am the cutest "B" you ever did see*

At this point I would like to explain the concept of dressing a baby up in a Halloween costume despite the fact that it won't be used for the aforementioned trick and/or treating. The only reason my little munchkin is/was subjected to this punishment is so that grandparents (more overly grandmothers - love you) could fawn over there little pride and joy. It was also so "Ky" and the rest of the mom's in the area can round up all the babies and have a group costumed baby jamboroo. These poor little kids, except "B" who is such a ham that she just played up the costume for the camera, just were not happy campers. If any of them were able to talk I am sure they'd say:

"Mom/Dad, you think you can just dress me up in this ridiculous outfit and get away with it? I am gonna stay up all night crying and I might even squeeze out a big smelly poop for you! I'm Rick James bitch!!!"

But I guess our parents tortured us the same way so it is our god given right to return the favour to our kids and they shall do the same to theirs. But beware the vengeful baby, you never know when they might get that crazy look in their eye..

Cheers.

One little phrase turns grown man to mush - news at 11

Well now here is something I didn't expect or at least expect to see happen for quite sometime. Thanksgiving weekend 2009, six plus months into being "dada" the little one drops a bombshell on me by saying those very words. My little angel not once, not twice, but has uttered "hi dada" several times. It is now her phrase of choice. Now to be fair she also calls the dog "dada" and just about everything else she can get those chubby little hands on. So here is the rub....

I did nothing to solicit "dada", there was no shameless self promotion on my part. This in turn means my wife is now "second fiddle" to "dada" or maybe just feels that way. This of course has no validity at all. "Ky" did a fantastic job of being an equal opportunity name promoter but unfortunately "mama" wasn't in the cards just yet. Or so it would seem.

Now that doesn't mean that I didn't take a certain degree of pride in her saying that four letter word and I am certainly not saying that the voice inside my head wasn't saying "YEAH BABY". I do feel a certain degree of, not sure of the words but perhaps remorse, that Brooklyn didn't say "mama" first. "Ky" has done so much in her overall development that it would have been a really nice reward from the wee one for her to say "mama" first. I know and "Ky" knows that it will of course happen before either of us know it and before too long she will be telling all sorts of fun little anecdotes. "Hey Dad, did you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?" "Hey Mom, did you know that your foot is the same length as your forearm?" "Hey Mom... Mom.... MOM, MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!! You can almost hear the pulse of the vein bulging on our respective heads. Regardless of the pending onslaught of questions it is such a rush to see her attempt to formulate words. You can see in her eyes as she processes her surroundings that "I am trying to say this guys, so listen up goddamn it!! I don't want to have to repeat myself."

So with Phase 1: learning to talk (and talk back), well under way it shouldn't be too long before Phase 2: I am now mobile bitches (so move the low stuff off the shelves) to rear it's ugly head. She is already doing the shuffle, roll and spin so the crawling and walking ain't too far behind.

That's only terrifying!

8 Lessons all dads should teach

First off I want to say that I didn't create this list but found it informative so I thought I'd pass it on. I will however paraphrase (see: dumb it down) for all dads, myself included.

Words are valuable


Be sure to speak up - your kids are listening. Use big words, even if they are unfamiliar to your child. Evidently they learn a lot purely based on the context in which it's used.

**Personal addition: I also firmly believe that you should talk to your baby as a person. Ease up on the goo goo gaa gaa talk.

Tantrums earn you nothing


This also applies to 30 year old men too (taking a look in the mirror Adam). Sound advice. Evidently when your anxiety visibly rises you add fuel to the fire. And giving in to the tantrum is positive reinforcement and will in fact encourage more bad behaviour. Don't ignore it, just don't get rattled but be calm and attentive (easier said then done of course).

Competition leads to confidence

Kids as young as 4 (I've got a long way to go before that) start to compete with their parents. "Race you to the car, dad"... Wrestling on the couch... The harmless stuff. Roll with it and let them win - a lot and then slowly over time ramp it up so the have to work harder for the "W". It helps build confidence and strength (muscles and all) which can help them avoid being bullied too.

Quitting is hard


Show your kids the pain of quitting and they won't make those kind of decisions lightly. If your child says a school project is too hard and that he/she wants to give up, that's okay. But make them tell the teacher they're quitting and take whatever grade is appropriate. They will likely stick it out... A lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.

Other people's feelings matter

It's easier to connect with other kids and others in general if you can learn to understand their perspective, so nurture that instinct in you child. A good starting point is your child's own feelings.

Fights can be resolved

Unless one kid is hanging another out of a window or giving them a "swirly", don't say a word. As soon as you get involved your child no longer cares about the solution. They only try persuading you to their side.

Independence is earned

When your kids ask to stay later at a friends house ask you child what time would work for them. Then ask them why. This still allows you the opportunity to say yes or no depending on the answer but still gives them the freedom and responsibility.

Success requires focus

Perhaps you don't wish for a prodigy but our competitive society would suggest otherwise. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Praise improvement first. Learn to go through one door first and many others will open for you. Try going through five at once and you'll go nowhere.

Again, I thought the article had some interesting points so I thought I'd share them. Undoubtedly raising a child is something far more organic and depends entirely on the child as well as you - the parent. Take the tips for what they are worth of course. Happy parenting

Cheers

Article provided by: Men's Health magazine Oct. 09

Cute/cute vs. Ugly/cute...

Perhaps starting with a little math refresher might help to illustrate my point. Back in the day you learned the following "math-ism"

1) positive x positive = positive
2) positive x negative = negative
3) negative x negative = positive

* made no sense but you go along with it because that's what your teacher told you*
So how this plays into what I am talking about is...... actually just hold on for a sec. Let me start by saying that no matter what, when all babies are born they ain't cute. There, I said it. Somebody had to. They are purple, covered in blood and vernix (a waxy or cheese like, yah that's right cheese like, coating covering your baby), their head is all misshaped, their eyes are all goopy and so on. After all you wouldn't look so hot if you were floating in water for 9 months either. So here is where the debate now begins....
All parents think that there baby is cute without fail and will proceed to take countless pictures and videos and show them off without hesitation or post them on facebook for the world to see. GUILTY. Now having said that, not all you parents are right. Some of you out there, and you may not know who you are, are looking through your own version of baby "beer goggles." It's true whether you like it or not. Here is where that math thing comes in.

Just because your partner is attractive and you are attractive and one drunken night things got a little out of hand and 9 months later you have a baby doesn't mean that your two "positives" equal a cute baby.... See, math isn't always right! The same theory can go the other way too. Always wondered how two "negative" parents equal a "positive" baby. I have seen it, witnessed first hand and still can't believe that it works. Sometimes the equation works, sometimes your genes forget to "carry the one".

Part two of this theory will help put the minds of some parents at ease. To be fair, there is in fact two kinds of cute. There is cute/cute, which means your baby is as close to Gerber cute as you can get and then there is ugly/cute which means you don't show a picture of your baby to anybody prior to their morning coffee but you do still get the mandatory "awwww, he/she is so cute."

FYI, my baby girl is cute/cute and I don't care what anyone says..
**Sidebar: at no point should you ever compare your baby to another baby in my opinion. First off - the aforementioned baby "beer goggles", you don't necessarily see what anyone else sees. You see cute - I may see Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Second - see the first. You just don't do it, I don't care what you say!!.**

Back to the lecture at hand. We've established that when babies are first born they're not cute, they look like aliens. We've established "baby algebra" and how regardless of what you think, it is still a crap shoot and math, once again, can be proven wrong. Hot x hot can in fact = not... We've also established that once your wee one has evolved past that alien looking stage, which is about a week or two in my opinion, that they fall into either cute/cute or ugly/cute. Now that is not to say they are a permanent fixture in either category so there is still a chance that Junior might "grow out" of that face, er, phase...

I think it boils down to this. Unless you are 100% sure that your little one is cute (and I am) then maybe just keep the picture show for later on in the day.

Cheers

The joy of the unsolicited opinions or UFO's

Probably one of the most challenging parts of raising your baby is the unsolicited opinion. Now to be fair (and clear), not all "UFO's" (unsolicited f#$king opinions) are without merit. There are often times when they come in extremely handy and helpful.
*These are also not to be confused with solicited opinions - thanks to all our family and friends who have helped up along the way. Brooklyn also says thanks!!*

Where was I... right, UFO's... Okay, so your little boy or girl has come into the world by now and maybe, just maybe, you've figured out a few things in the first couple of days/weeks. Everyone is (hopefully) excited and happy for the new parents and really want to do what ever they can to help.. Here's the tricky part... Often, and I do mean often, that "help" comes in the form of a "UFO" and it starts off small. Something as simple as how to dress them, bathe them, change them, which is great but this can and undoubtedly will evolve to something much more, how shall I put this..... irritating!! The part that is most often funny (see: irritating) for me is that a lot of the time these "UFO's" are offered up by either a) someone who hasn't had kids at all b) someone who doesn't even know you or most commonly c) someone who hasn't had kids in the last 3 to 5 decades!!! Not to sound ungrateful or cynical but doesn't anyone realize that modern medicine and general child rearing has come a long way in 50 friggin' years. I know YOU think our daughter is hungry but WE know HER feeding habits! I know YOU gave your baby a bumper pad in their crib and made them sleep face down but WE DON'T! I know YOU are totally against giving babies pacifiers but WE AREN'T (and neither were the dental professionals we asked, so MEH)... If you are so against them then how's about I give you a call at 3 in the m-f-ing morning when we she's inconsolable for god knows why???

Yeah, that's what I thought...

And to those people, god love ya, that don't have children for a variety of reasons but still feel inclined to share their 2 cents from their fountain of baby knowledge and experience... Just keep it to yourself for the time being, hmm. We'll ask you if we need help, thanks.. Same goes to those people who have either just met you, have only known you for a bit or have known you for a while but haven't spoken to one another in years.. You folks can put a sock in it too... Love ya, but zip it.

I hope this little bit of insight will save you some frustration, perhaps and argument or two and maybe get you to put the safety back on before you go "postal". Good luck.

Cheers.

To my wife and baby girl

Sometimes you stuggle in life. Sometimes you need a helping hand. Sometimes you forget to tell the ones you love how much they mean to you. Sometimes you take that for granted and don't realize that one day they may not be there to catch you when you fall...

Sometimes what you need to say has already been said by someone else...

Ooo I need your love, babe
Guess you know it's true
Hope you need my love babe
Just like I need you

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
I ain't got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week

Love you every day, girl
Always on my mind
One thing I can say, girl
Love you all the time

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
I ain't got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week

Eight days a week
I love you
Eight days a week
Is not enough to show I care

Thanks to Mr. Lennon and Mr. McCartney for their words. More often then not, they've already said exactly what you might be thinking or feeling. So take note

I love you "K" and Brooklyn, with all my heart. You make life worth living. Thanks for catching me when I fall.