Well now here is something I didn't expect or at least expect to see happen for quite sometime. Thanksgiving weekend 2009, six plus months into being "dada" the little one drops a bombshell on me by saying those very words. My little angel not once, not twice, but has uttered "hi dada" several times. It is now her phrase of choice. Now to be fair she also calls the dog "dada" and just about everything else she can get those chubby little hands on. So here is the rub....
I did nothing to solicit "dada", there was no shameless self promotion on my part. This in turn means my wife is now "second fiddle" to "dada" or maybe just feels that way. This of course has no validity at all. "Ky" did a fantastic job of being an equal opportunity name promoter but unfortunately "mama" wasn't in the cards just yet. Or so it would seem.
Now that doesn't mean that I didn't take a certain degree of pride in her saying that four letter word and I am certainly not saying that the voice inside my head wasn't saying "YEAH BABY". I do feel a certain degree of, not sure of the words but perhaps remorse, that Brooklyn didn't say "mama" first. "Ky" has done so much in her overall development that it would have been a really nice reward from the wee one for her to say "mama" first. I know and "Ky" knows that it will of course happen before either of us know it and before too long she will be telling all sorts of fun little anecdotes. "Hey Dad, did you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?" "Hey Mom, did you know that your foot is the same length as your forearm?" "Hey Mom... Mom.... MOM, MOM, MOM, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!! You can almost hear the pulse of the vein bulging on our respective heads. Regardless of the pending onslaught of questions it is such a rush to see her attempt to formulate words. You can see in her eyes as she processes her surroundings that "I am trying to say this guys, so listen up goddamn it!! I don't want to have to repeat myself."
So with Phase 1: learning to talk (and talk back), well under way it shouldn't be too long before Phase 2: I am now mobile bitches (so move the low stuff off the shelves) to rear it's ugly head. She is already doing the shuffle, roll and spin so the crawling and walking ain't too far behind.
That's only terrifying!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
8 Lessons all dads should teach
First off I want to say that I didn't create this list but found it informative so I thought I'd pass it on. I will however paraphrase (see: dumb it down) for all dads, myself included.
Words are valuable
Be sure to speak up - your kids are listening. Use big words, even if they are unfamiliar to your child. Evidently they learn a lot purely based on the context in which it's used.
**Personal addition: I also firmly believe that you should talk to your baby as a person. Ease up on the goo goo gaa gaa talk.
Tantrums earn you nothing
This also applies to 30 year old men too (taking a look in the mirror Adam). Sound advice. Evidently when your anxiety visibly rises you add fuel to the fire. And giving in to the tantrum is positive reinforcement and will in fact encourage more bad behaviour. Don't ignore it, just don't get rattled but be calm and attentive (easier said then done of course).
Competition leads to confidence
Kids as young as 4 (I've got a long way to go before that) start to compete with their parents. "Race you to the car, dad"... Wrestling on the couch... The harmless stuff. Roll with it and let them win - a lot and then slowly over time ramp it up so the have to work harder for the "W". It helps build confidence and strength (muscles and all) which can help them avoid being bullied too.
Quitting is hard
Show your kids the pain of quitting and they won't make those kind of decisions lightly. If your child says a school project is too hard and that he/she wants to give up, that's okay. But make them tell the teacher they're quitting and take whatever grade is appropriate. They will likely stick it out... A lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.
Other people's feelings matter
Words are valuable
Be sure to speak up - your kids are listening. Use big words, even if they are unfamiliar to your child. Evidently they learn a lot purely based on the context in which it's used.
**Personal addition: I also firmly believe that you should talk to your baby as a person. Ease up on the goo goo gaa gaa talk.
Tantrums earn you nothing
This also applies to 30 year old men too (taking a look in the mirror Adam). Sound advice. Evidently when your anxiety visibly rises you add fuel to the fire. And giving in to the tantrum is positive reinforcement and will in fact encourage more bad behaviour. Don't ignore it, just don't get rattled but be calm and attentive (easier said then done of course).
Competition leads to confidence
Kids as young as 4 (I've got a long way to go before that) start to compete with their parents. "Race you to the car, dad"... Wrestling on the couch... The harmless stuff. Roll with it and let them win - a lot and then slowly over time ramp it up so the have to work harder for the "W". It helps build confidence and strength (muscles and all) which can help them avoid being bullied too.
Quitting is hard
Show your kids the pain of quitting and they won't make those kind of decisions lightly. If your child says a school project is too hard and that he/she wants to give up, that's okay. But make them tell the teacher they're quitting and take whatever grade is appropriate. They will likely stick it out... A lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.
Other people's feelings matter
It's easier to connect with other kids and others in general if you can learn to understand their perspective, so nurture that instinct in you child. A good starting point is your child's own feelings.
Fights can be resolved
Unless one kid is hanging another out of a window or giving them a "swirly", don't say a word. As soon as you get involved your child no longer cares about the solution. They only try persuading you to their side.
Independence is earned
When your kids ask to stay later at a friends house ask you child what time would work for them. Then ask them why. This still allows you the opportunity to say yes or no depending on the answer but still gives them the freedom and responsibility.
Success requires focus
Perhaps you don't wish for a prodigy but our competitive society would suggest otherwise. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Praise improvement first. Learn to go through one door first and many others will open for you. Try going through five at once and you'll go nowhere.
Again, I thought the article had some interesting points so I thought I'd share them. Undoubtedly raising a child is something far more organic and depends entirely on the child as well as you - the parent. Take the tips for what they are worth of course. Happy parenting
Cheers
Article provided by: Men's Health magazine Oct. 09
Cute/cute vs. Ugly/cute...
Perhaps starting with a little math refresher might help to illustrate my point. Back in the day you learned the following "math-ism"
1) positive x positive = positive
2) positive x negative = negative
3) negative x negative = positive
* made no sense but you go along with it because that's what your teacher told you*
So how this plays into what I am talking about is...... actually just hold on for a sec. Let me start by saying that no matter what, when all babies are born they ain't cute. There, I said it. Somebody had to. They are purple, covered in blood and vernix (a waxy or cheese like, yah that's right cheese like, coating covering your baby), their head is all misshaped, their eyes are all goopy and so on. After all you wouldn't look so hot if you were floating in water for 9 months either. So here is where the debate now begins....
All parents think that there baby is cute without fail and will proceed to take countless pictures and videos and show them off without hesitation or post them on facebook for the world to see. GUILTY. Now having said that, not all you parents are right. Some of you out there, and you may not know who you are, are looking through your own version of baby "beer goggles." It's true whether you like it or not. Here is where that math thing comes in.
Just because your partner is attractive and you are attractive and one drunken night things got a little out of hand and 9 months later you have a baby doesn't mean that your two "positives" equal a cute baby.... See, math isn't always right! The same theory can go the other way too. Always wondered how two "negative" parents equal a "positive" baby. I have seen it, witnessed first hand and still can't believe that it works. Sometimes the equation works, sometimes your genes forget to "carry the one".
Part two of this theory will help put the minds of some parents at ease. To be fair, there is in fact two kinds of cute. There is cute/cute, which means your baby is as close to Gerber cute as you can get and then there is ugly/cute which means you don't show a picture of your baby to anybody prior to their morning coffee but you do still get the mandatory "awwww, he/she is so cute."
FYI, my baby girl is cute/cute and I don't care what anyone says..
**Sidebar: at no point should you ever compare your baby to another baby in my opinion. First off - the aforementioned baby "beer goggles", you don't necessarily see what anyone else sees. You see cute - I may see Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Second - see the first. You just don't do it, I don't care what you say!!.**
Back to the lecture at hand. We've established that when babies are first born they're not cute, they look like aliens. We've established "baby algebra" and how regardless of what you think, it is still a crap shoot and math, once again, can be proven wrong. Hot x hot can in fact = not... We've also established that once your wee one has evolved past that alien looking stage, which is about a week or two in my opinion, that they fall into either cute/cute or ugly/cute. Now that is not to say they are a permanent fixture in either category so there is still a chance that Junior might "grow out" of that face, er, phase...
I think it boils down to this. Unless you are 100% sure that your little one is cute (and I am) then maybe just keep the picture show for later on in the day.
Cheers
1) positive x positive = positive
2) positive x negative = negative
3) negative x negative = positive
* made no sense but you go along with it because that's what your teacher told you*
So how this plays into what I am talking about is...... actually just hold on for a sec. Let me start by saying that no matter what, when all babies are born they ain't cute. There, I said it. Somebody had to. They are purple, covered in blood and vernix (a waxy or cheese like, yah that's right cheese like, coating covering your baby), their head is all misshaped, their eyes are all goopy and so on. After all you wouldn't look so hot if you were floating in water for 9 months either. So here is where the debate now begins....
All parents think that there baby is cute without fail and will proceed to take countless pictures and videos and show them off without hesitation or post them on facebook for the world to see. GUILTY. Now having said that, not all you parents are right. Some of you out there, and you may not know who you are, are looking through your own version of baby "beer goggles." It's true whether you like it or not. Here is where that math thing comes in.
Just because your partner is attractive and you are attractive and one drunken night things got a little out of hand and 9 months later you have a baby doesn't mean that your two "positives" equal a cute baby.... See, math isn't always right! The same theory can go the other way too. Always wondered how two "negative" parents equal a "positive" baby. I have seen it, witnessed first hand and still can't believe that it works. Sometimes the equation works, sometimes your genes forget to "carry the one".
Part two of this theory will help put the minds of some parents at ease. To be fair, there is in fact two kinds of cute. There is cute/cute, which means your baby is as close to Gerber cute as you can get and then there is ugly/cute which means you don't show a picture of your baby to anybody prior to their morning coffee but you do still get the mandatory "awwww, he/she is so cute."
FYI, my baby girl is cute/cute and I don't care what anyone says..
**Sidebar: at no point should you ever compare your baby to another baby in my opinion. First off - the aforementioned baby "beer goggles", you don't necessarily see what anyone else sees. You see cute - I may see Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Second - see the first. You just don't do it, I don't care what you say!!.**Back to the lecture at hand. We've established that when babies are first born they're not cute, they look like aliens. We've established "baby algebra" and how regardless of what you think, it is still a crap shoot and math, once again, can be proven wrong. Hot x hot can in fact = not... We've also established that once your wee one has evolved past that alien looking stage, which is about a week or two in my opinion, that they fall into either cute/cute or ugly/cute. Now that is not to say they are a permanent fixture in either category so there is still a chance that Junior might "grow out" of that face, er, phase...
I think it boils down to this. Unless you are 100% sure that your little one is cute (and I am) then maybe just keep the picture show for later on in the day.
Cheers
Monday, September 28, 2009
The joy of the unsolicited opinions or UFO's
Probably one of the most challenging parts of raising your baby is the unsolicited opinion. Now to be fair (and clear), not all "UFO's" (unsolicited f#$king opinions) are without merit. There are often times when they come in extremely handy and helpful.
*These are also not to be confused with solicited opinions - thanks to all our family and friends who have helped up along the way. Brooklyn also says thanks!!*
Where was I... right, UFO's... Okay, so your little boy or girl has come into the world by now and maybe, just maybe, you've figured out a few things in the first couple of days/weeks. Everyone is (hopefully) excited and happy for the new parents and really want to do what ever they can to help.. Here's the tricky part... Often, and I do mean often, that "help" comes in the form of a "UFO" and it starts off small. Something as simple as how to dress them, bathe them, change them, which is great but this can and undoubtedly will evolve to something much more, how shall I put this..... irritating!! The part that is most often funny (see: irritating) for me is that a lot of the time these "UFO's" are offered up by either a) someone who hasn't had kids at all b) someone who doesn't even know you or most commonly c) someone who hasn't had kids in the last 3 to 5 decades!!! Not to sound ungrateful or cynical but doesn't anyone realize that modern medicine and general child rearing has come a long way in 50 friggin' years. I know YOU think our daughter is hungry but WE know HER feeding habits! I know YOU gave your baby a bumper pad in their crib and made them sleep face down but WE DON'T! I know YOU are totally against giving babies pacifiers but WE AREN'T (and neither were the dental professionals we asked, so MEH)... If you are so against them then how's about I give you a call at 3 in the m-f-ing morning when we she's inconsolable for god knows why???
Yeah, that's what I thought...
And to those people, god love ya, that don't have children for a variety of reasons but still feel inclined to share their 2 cents from their fountain of baby knowledge and experience... Just keep it to yourself for the time being, hmm. We'll ask you if we need help, thanks.. Same goes to those people who have either just met you, have only known you for a bit or have known you for a while but haven't spoken to one another in years.. You folks can put a sock in it too... Love ya, but zip it.
I hope this little bit of insight will save you some frustration, perhaps and argument or two and maybe get you to put the safety back on before you go "postal". Good luck.
Cheers.
*These are also not to be confused with solicited opinions - thanks to all our family and friends who have helped up along the way. Brooklyn also says thanks!!*
Where was I... right, UFO's... Okay, so your little boy or girl has come into the world by now and maybe, just maybe, you've figured out a few things in the first couple of days/weeks. Everyone is (hopefully) excited and happy for the new parents and really want to do what ever they can to help.. Here's the tricky part... Often, and I do mean often, that "help" comes in the form of a "UFO" and it starts off small. Something as simple as how to dress them, bathe them, change them, which is great but this can and undoubtedly will evolve to something much more, how shall I put this..... irritating!! The part that is most often funny (see: irritating) for me is that a lot of the time these "UFO's" are offered up by either a) someone who hasn't had kids at all b) someone who doesn't even know you or most commonly c) someone who hasn't had kids in the last 3 to 5 decades!!! Not to sound ungrateful or cynical but doesn't anyone realize that modern medicine and general child rearing has come a long way in 50 friggin' years. I know YOU think our daughter is hungry but WE know HER feeding habits! I know YOU gave your baby a bumper pad in their crib and made them sleep face down but WE DON'T! I know YOU are totally against giving babies pacifiers but WE AREN'T (and neither were the dental professionals we asked, so MEH)... If you are so against them then how's about I give you a call at 3 in the m-f-ing morning when we she's inconsolable for god knows why???
Yeah, that's what I thought...
And to those people, god love ya, that don't have children for a variety of reasons but still feel inclined to share their 2 cents from their fountain of baby knowledge and experience... Just keep it to yourself for the time being, hmm. We'll ask you if we need help, thanks.. Same goes to those people who have either just met you, have only known you for a bit or have known you for a while but haven't spoken to one another in years.. You folks can put a sock in it too... Love ya, but zip it.
I hope this little bit of insight will save you some frustration, perhaps and argument or two and maybe get you to put the safety back on before you go "postal". Good luck.
Cheers.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
To my wife and baby girl
Sometimes you stuggle in life. Sometimes you need a helping hand. Sometimes you forget to tell the ones you love how much they mean to you. Sometimes you take that for granted and don't realize that one day they may not be there to catch you when you fall...
Sometimes what you need to say has already been said by someone else...
Ooo I need your love, babe
Guess you know it's true
Hope you need my love babe
Just like I need you
Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
I ain't got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week
Love you every day, girl
Always on my mind
One thing I can say, girl
Love you all the time
Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
I ain't got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week
Eight days a week
I love you
Eight days a week
Is not enough to show I care
Thanks to Mr. Lennon and Mr. McCartney for their words. More often then not, they've already said exactly what you might be thinking or feeling. So take note
I love you "K" and Brooklyn, with all my heart. You make life worth living. Thanks for catching me when I fall.
Sometimes what you need to say has already been said by someone else...
Ooo I need your love, babe
Guess you know it's true
Hope you need my love babe
Just like I need you
Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
I ain't got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week
Love you every day, girl
Always on my mind
One thing I can say, girl
Love you all the time
Hold me, love me, hold me, love me
I ain't got nothing but love, babe
Eight days a week
Eight days a week
I love you
Eight days a week
Is not enough to show I care
Thanks to Mr. Lennon and Mr. McCartney for their words. More often then not, they've already said exactly what you might be thinking or feeling. So take note
I love you "K" and Brooklyn, with all my heart. You make life worth living. Thanks for catching me when I fall.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Baby Brain - it's real and it's spectacular
Baby Brain - perhaps you've heard this term if you are already a dad or going to be one in the near future. If not, then this should be your forewarning, so pay attention.
I don't remember exactly when it started but I would say it happened around the 4 to 5 month period and continues on through until the baby is born and in fact, several months after that. Baby Brain is the process by which the wee one eats away at any and all brain functions. General movement is not seemingly affected but you can wave bye bye to all cognitive thinking, normal intelligent conversation and sentences that don't involve "goo-goo" or "gaa-gaa". Your baby is officially an "intellectual parasite" that is being harboured in your wife/girlfriend uterus and is living on her brains.... MMMMMM, bwains....
It starts off slowly.. Staring aimlessly into space, pregnant (no pun intended) pauses between a question asked to answer given and the classic muddling of words. Nothing too significant by any means. Ah, but wait, there's more. Pretty soon all memory is shot to hell and the formulation of sentences are virtually non-existent. Imagine having your tongue 10 sizes too big for a mouth 10 sizes too small... That kind of stumbling over your words - it is just brutal... The birth of your child actually does nothing to help and in fact hinders the recapturing of ones linguistic abilities. How much can one develop (or redevelop) when your partner in conversation can't even lift their own head yet let alone speak?? Talk about reverting back to ones "caveman/woman" self, you end up sounding like Tarzan mixed with The Incredible Hulk.
"Baby no like sleep", "Mom need baby too sleep", "Baby go sleep now"
FYI, this process isn't unique to women either. I told you, they are "intellectual parasites" ... As soon as you hold your baby, an cerebral osmosis occurs fast and without warning... That little smile on their face when you pick them up and make funny faces at them or make strange noises, they aren't laughing at you. They are laughing because they are sapping you of all your brain power. They've got you right where they want you...
At some point this may go away and both "Ky" and I will resume normal brain functioning, I hope.. But until then I will bask in the glory that is our new dim witted, unfocused, brainless selves... Thanks a lot Brooklyn, thanks a lot...
"Daddy no like having no brain, me miss smart talk"....
I don't remember exactly when it started but I would say it happened around the 4 to 5 month period and continues on through until the baby is born and in fact, several months after that. Baby Brain is the process by which the wee one eats away at any and all brain functions. General movement is not seemingly affected but you can wave bye bye to all cognitive thinking, normal intelligent conversation and sentences that don't involve "goo-goo" or "gaa-gaa". Your baby is officially an "intellectual parasite" that is being harboured in your wife/girlfriend uterus and is living on her brains.... MMMMMM, bwains....
It starts off slowly.. Staring aimlessly into space, pregnant (no pun intended) pauses between a question asked to answer given and the classic muddling of words. Nothing too significant by any means. Ah, but wait, there's more. Pretty soon all memory is shot to hell and the formulation of sentences are virtually non-existent. Imagine having your tongue 10 sizes too big for a mouth 10 sizes too small... That kind of stumbling over your words - it is just brutal... The birth of your child actually does nothing to help and in fact hinders the recapturing of ones linguistic abilities. How much can one develop (or redevelop) when your partner in conversation can't even lift their own head yet let alone speak?? Talk about reverting back to ones "caveman/woman" self, you end up sounding like Tarzan mixed with The Incredible Hulk.
"Baby no like sleep", "Mom need baby too sleep", "Baby go sleep now"
FYI, this process isn't unique to women either. I told you, they are "intellectual parasites" ... As soon as you hold your baby, an cerebral osmosis occurs fast and without warning... That little smile on their face when you pick them up and make funny faces at them or make strange noises, they aren't laughing at you. They are laughing because they are sapping you of all your brain power. They've got you right where they want you...
At some point this may go away and both "Ky" and I will resume normal brain functioning, I hope.. But until then I will bask in the glory that is our new dim witted, unfocused, brainless selves... Thanks a lot Brooklyn, thanks a lot...
"Daddy no like having no brain, me miss smart talk"....
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Pregnancy - the female version of a pissing contest
Okay so weird title to a blog I suppose but let me elaborate on that thought and it will become clear what it is I mean. As a guy, watching your wife/girlfriend go to countless showers is an interesting process. The concept still boggles my mind but I understand that much like a wedding shower they are meant to give the couple/baby a little jump start in their new life.
Great!
However, here is where it gets funny from the husbands perspective - or at least my perspective. Pregnancy is the female version of a pissing contest - no two ways about it. They can deny it until the day they die but it is 100% true... Allow me to explain. As guys, we do this in a variety of ways... Do these sound familiar??
"Got here in 4 hrs 5 minutes and didn't stop at all, shaved 20 minutes off the trip from last year!! Made great time!!!"
or
"Yeah, I musta drank like 40 beers that night. Took home this model and her girlfriend and we yadda yadda yadda..."
or
"Ya shoulda seen it, me against like 10 guys in a fight and I pounded them all... then partied the rest of the night"
You know, the usual "d!ck swinging" that occurs when a group of us guys are together and our friends Jack Daniel's, Jose Cuervo or Anheuser-Busch are being passed around. Generally harmless, always funny and always to be taken with a grain of salt (and lemon and tequila as the case may be..).
Women - forever more cerebral then men - use the "shower" format for their own version of this contest. Showers, or as I later learned any opportunity at all, are when the ladies get to bludgeon the mom-to-be with their tales of the tape, so to speak. To the untrained eye and ear of a guy it could sound like the normal, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, "hen house cluck fest" talk that occurs when women get together in large groups. But, to the trained ear, the normal random chatter is filtered into an onslaught of "anything you can do I can do better".
"48 hours of labour and he came out sideways with shoulder pads on"
"Well, my little one took 4 days to be delivered and was breach, back labour and had a barb wire umbilical cord - 30 lbs 14 oz 32 inches long"
***Thought size didn't matter ladies***
"Please, mine was a week long delivery and then after he was born, in the middle of the night, jumped out of his bassinet and climbed back in!!"
The list gets longer each time. The baby gets heavier & longer and labour time goes from hours to months, and so on. Sounds a lot like when we go fishing ladies, scary to think you're not that different from us eh?? Now having said all of that, some women deserve the opportunity to flex their "uterine muscles". "Ky", as my only example, has every right to brag, in my opinion. A few days prior to giving birth to Brooklyn we went to the hospital thinking it was go time. Turns out - Kidney stones. Nice... Few days later she gave birth and unfortunately had to have some minor surgery to allow Brooklyn to enter this world.
**Sidebar: this is where the whole "extra stitch" joke comes into play - slip the doc a 50, it'll work.... Joking, don't do that...**
Several days after Brooklyn was born, "Ky", while still healing, was back in the hospital with more Kidney stones. Did I mention her labour was 12 hours and most of that was pushing... These are non-embellished stats so I give my wife full props for being tough as friggin' nails. I'd have passed out on push number one I think... So to recap - kidney stones, labour, kidney stones. I believe the term "bring it" comes to mind..
So all I can say is, listen in once in a while fellas, you may hear some interesting and funny "stories" that resemble our version of "the one that got away"....
Cheers.
Great!
However, here is where it gets funny from the husbands perspective - or at least my perspective. Pregnancy is the female version of a pissing contest - no two ways about it. They can deny it until the day they die but it is 100% true... Allow me to explain. As guys, we do this in a variety of ways... Do these sound familiar??
"Got here in 4 hrs 5 minutes and didn't stop at all, shaved 20 minutes off the trip from last year!! Made great time!!!"
or
"Yeah, I musta drank like 40 beers that night. Took home this model and her girlfriend and we yadda yadda yadda..."
or
"Ya shoulda seen it, me against like 10 guys in a fight and I pounded them all... then partied the rest of the night"
You know, the usual "d!ck swinging" that occurs when a group of us guys are together and our friends Jack Daniel's, Jose Cuervo or Anheuser-Busch are being passed around. Generally harmless, always funny and always to be taken with a grain of salt (and lemon and tequila as the case may be..).
Women - forever more cerebral then men - use the "shower" format for their own version of this contest. Showers, or as I later learned any opportunity at all, are when the ladies get to bludgeon the mom-to-be with their tales of the tape, so to speak. To the untrained eye and ear of a guy it could sound like the normal, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, "hen house cluck fest" talk that occurs when women get together in large groups. But, to the trained ear, the normal random chatter is filtered into an onslaught of "anything you can do I can do better".
"48 hours of labour and he came out sideways with shoulder pads on"
"Well, my little one took 4 days to be delivered and was breach, back labour and had a barb wire umbilical cord - 30 lbs 14 oz 32 inches long"
***Thought size didn't matter ladies***
"Please, mine was a week long delivery and then after he was born, in the middle of the night, jumped out of his bassinet and climbed back in!!"
The list gets longer each time. The baby gets heavier & longer and labour time goes from hours to months, and so on. Sounds a lot like when we go fishing ladies, scary to think you're not that different from us eh?? Now having said all of that, some women deserve the opportunity to flex their "uterine muscles". "Ky", as my only example, has every right to brag, in my opinion. A few days prior to giving birth to Brooklyn we went to the hospital thinking it was go time. Turns out - Kidney stones. Nice... Few days later she gave birth and unfortunately had to have some minor surgery to allow Brooklyn to enter this world.
**Sidebar: this is where the whole "extra stitch" joke comes into play - slip the doc a 50, it'll work.... Joking, don't do that...**
Several days after Brooklyn was born, "Ky", while still healing, was back in the hospital with more Kidney stones. Did I mention her labour was 12 hours and most of that was pushing... These are non-embellished stats so I give my wife full props for being tough as friggin' nails. I'd have passed out on push number one I think... So to recap - kidney stones, labour, kidney stones. I believe the term "bring it" comes to mind..
So all I can say is, listen in once in a while fellas, you may hear some interesting and funny "stories" that resemble our version of "the one that got away"....
Cheers.
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